okay lets start the real story. hmmmm
guys, last night also, i almost break up with my bf. semuanya berpunca daripada aku yang tak reti nak sedar diri akan kesilapan lalu. a few days before i went to STAR, i ask a permission from him, to take a photo with my buddyz (guy) there. at the time i ask, he gave me. dan tiba tiba bila aku balik semalam dari STAR, he's changed. everything! semua berubah. dia perli perli aku. cakap pasal lelaki mana entah aku jumpa kat sana. padahal tak pun! ughhh menyampah gila. buruk sangka. overthinking. susah do cani. haih, and you know what? suddenly, tengah gaduh gaduh kat ws, tibatiba keluar lah ayat ni dari dia...
"saya ingat nak mintak break lah dengan awak"
and i was like WHATTTTTTTTT! speechless sangat sangat. weh like seriously? lepastu dia terus call aku, cari pasal. pastu dah puas dia cari pasal, he said he want to leave me. dia nak lepaskan aku. holy shit. my tears shed heavily. i dont know why i am crying. tbh, i also want to breakup with him, but when he said it to me first, aku rasa macam tak sanggup. no aku taknak. aku taknak hilang dia. i cant lose him. i dont even want to lose him. yes, i can find another guy that is much better than him, but i dont know why my heart dont want to let him go. noooooooooooooooooooooooo. i'm crying harder and harder, and he doesnt even care and bothered about me anymore. he dont even pujuk me. he stick with his cold heart. he's really really mad at me. he cant accept me anymore. and i kept begging and begging to him to not let me go. i feel so useless. aku rasa macam sangat sangat terhegeh hegehkan dia. entahlah taktahu nak cakap macammana pasal perasaan ni. truth is, my heart cant accept the lose of him in my life.
alhamdulillah, this morning, kami berbaik semula. and this is the last chance for me to prove that i am loyal with him. to prove that i love him. tapi, aku kena stop contact with any guys i know. focus on my study and him only. i'll try my best okay baby? sorry for everything.
